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Top 5 List Of Things Chris Brown’s Gonna Do Now That He’s Out Of Jail

Chris Brown was released from the Los Angeles County prison at 12:01 a.m. Monday, June 2, 2014. He had been locked up since March 2014 due to an altercation in Washington, D.C., that, according to a judge, violated his probation stemming from an assault on singer, Rihanna. Chris spent lots of time behind bars in the special unit for high profile criminals due to his celebrity status. He even crafted some new song collaborations with his fellow inmate, James Debarge. He’s still not technically off the hook yet because there is an upcoming trial he has to attend in D.C., but at least the man is FREE for now!

The first thing Chris Brown did publicly was to express his relief from jail, and naturally, that means to tell the whole world about it on Twitter.

 

Back to the Music and the Fans

— Chris Brown (@chrisbrown) June 2, 2014

 

Thank you GOD

— Chris Brown (@chrisbrown) June 2, 2014

 

It is always a joyous time to be released from jail and be reunited with the Internet so that you can tweet. So here are the other top five things that Chris Brown is going to do now that he’s out of jail:

1. Hit up Starbucks for a Venti Double Mocha Soy Latte with room for cream.

    Because who wouldn’t go buy the most expensive cup of coffee to celebrate one’s freedom from jail!

2. Buy a new pimp suit and leather shoes.

There is nothing more damaging to one’s self-esteem than to be forced to wear the most gosh-awful two-piece prison garb, underwear, socks, and plastic sandals from the Los Angeles County Department of Corrections. I will wager a day’s pay that the last color we will EVER see him wear anymore is the color ORANGE. It is NOT the new black if your name is CHRIS BROWN!

3. Tweet some more.

    He’s already given the shout out to the man upstairs, but he’s still got a lot of tweeting (and retweeting) to do. So now he’s got to tweet some gratitude to VH1′S Top Hip Hop Side Chick, aka his girlfriend, Karruche Tran. He’s also got to give big ups to his manager, his mom and HIS LAWYER. Hello!!!

4. Eat the biggest course meal ever known to man.

He can finally say goodbye to overcooked pasta noodles, unsalted pinto beans, “salami” slices, baby carrots, and the driest cornbread he’s ever tasted. He will probably gain about 10-15 pounds within a week. WATCH!

5. Color his hair BLOND again!

    Blond is the new black again, especially if your name is CHRIS BROWN!

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