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Hilarious Craigslist Ad Has Bassist Looking for Gigs With Unusual Stipulations

Many people use Criagslist as a way to look for work and musicians are no different. Naturally, they don’t want to play for charity work, they need money to pay for bills so this guy put an ad on Craigslist saying he was available for hired help. The only problem with this ad is there are so many red flags, he’s almost unhireable.

We can break it down bit by bit.

For paying gigs only. Nothing wrong with that. If you have a talent, you should find a way to get paid for it. We all need to eat so I don’t see anything wrong with that first statement. It goes on to say that he’s very specific about what key to play the songs in. That tells me he knows the basics, but can probably hang on so long as it’s not in, as he puts it, “anything off the wall.” That’s a modest request, but the fact that he’ll charge $30 each for the notes he doesn’t know. You would think that, if you were a bassist for hire, you’d learn everything you could to make yourself more hireable.

The Craigslist ad goes on to say that he’ll charge $100 per gig (not a bad price) and it has to be within his immediate area or he’ll charge for gas. That’s fine. He even offers that he’s available to be picked up, but has to be home by 11 p.m. for ‘legal hassles’ and by ‘hassle’ probably means he is a criminal on house arrest, but has a way to leave if it’s for work.

The last sentence is the biggest red flag of them all.

No gigs withing 500 years of schools, parks, or playgrounds.

So I’m sure it’s not available for children’s parties.

What do you think? What’s the worst part of this ad?

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