Justin Bieber Being Investigated For Assault With a Deadly Nerf Gun
Teen pop sensation Justin Bieber is currently under investigation for gun control charges after brandishing his finest Nerf gun at a venue in Ottowa, Canada.
Hey, it’s Canada. They take their styrofoam bullets very, very seriously.
A female employee of the venue where the Biebs was performing in November of last year claims that Bieber or someone near him assaulted her. And by “assaulted” we mean she was hit by something plushy and made of foam.
Sources say Bieber was having a Nerf-gun fight with his 3-year-old brother and 4-year-old sister when one of the lethal day-glo orange projectiles flew off-course and hit the employee, who allegedly became “hysterical” and yelled at Justin’s team that she was security guard for the venue.
She later filed a police report and the finest Canadian Mounties are currently investigating. People from the venue have already been interviewed, a process that was rudely interrupted when Snidley Whiplash stole Dudley Do-Right’s girlfriend and he had to make a quick exit to save her from a runaway train.