I have Magic 8 Ballz, which is just like a magic 8 ball, but better because I may or may not have found one on the top shelf at a dollar store! Supercheap!

So here I am sitting here asking my ballz some pretty serious life-altering questions. And I expect some pretty serious life-altering answers! (Okay, enough with the snickering already!)

Here are my questions:

1. Will Lindsay Lohan get her sh** together in 2013?
MAGIC 8 BALLZ: My reply is no.

2. Will Kanye & Kim's baby be named after his mom or Kim's father, who are both deceased?
MAGIC 8 BALL: Outlook not so good.

3. Is Psy going to have another hit record besides "Gangnam Style", here in America?
MAGIC 8 BALLZ: Yes.

4. Will a new celebrity arise to trump Lady Gaga's fame?
MAGIC 8 BALLZ: As I see it, yes.

5. Is this the year I finally meet the right guy and settle down? (Please say yes! Please say yes!)
MAGIC 8 BALLZ:
My reply is no.

(Shakes ball furiously. Asks last question again.)
MAGIC 8 BALLZ: You may rely on it.

*side eye* How vague of you!

(Shakes ball furiously, again. Repeats question.)
MAGIC 8 BALLZ: Signs point to yes.

And there you have it! Serious questions got some pretty serious answers, and of course, you can have FULL faith in the Magic 8 Ballz because, well, it's MAGIC!