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Weird Grammy Catagories

There are a lot of weird awards given out each year for the Grammys that don’t get any airplay. Just think of all those chubby, goateed sound engineers clutching awards to their chests, wishing that the world would recognize their craft so they could thank mom on-air. Poor guys. Here are five obscure Grammy award categories and some recent honorees.

Best Spoken Word Album for Children

Yes to Running
Round River

Who sits around judging children’s albums. Can you imagine that guy’s life? Nightmare town.

Best Polka Album

Jimmy Sturr
Jimmy Sturr

The same dude has won this award for the last decade. Nice one, Jimmy Sturr. Keep doing your thing. You own this space.

Best Album Notes

Jelly Roll Morton
Library of Congress

We actually love this kind of passion put into album releases. Liner notes guys, you won’t hear an unkind word from us! Keep on telling us stories about guys in jail cells hollering about the price of corn (true).

Best Pop Instrumental Album

Kenny G
Arista

Your mom and dad are keeping the record industry afloat. They’re the only people buying music these days. And they’re spending their precious dollars on Kenny G albums. The G is often a jokey placeholder for “awful music” but — hello — he’s got at least five Grammy categories on lock in 2010.

Best Surround Sound Album

RIngo Starr
Koch Records

Let’s all buy $60,000 audiophile sound systems for our dens so we can hear Ringo Starr farting into his plush drum stool coming at us from 5.1 directions. Awesome.

– Contributed by Cole Stryker

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