5 Ways to Blow $1,000 in Yakima

Tacos are two for a dollar, I have one thousand dollars. It would be a done deal. Now that I have two thousand tacos, my true dilemma is what to do with them all. I certainly can't eat them by myself. I would need a few friends and a Twin Peaks marathon to maximize my efforts.

What could I possibly do with five Kindle Fires? Anything I need to do, I would think. The benefit would be to not have to remember to grab it from one room to bring it to the next room and forget where I left it. One in the bedroom, one in the living room, one in the kitchen for cookbooks, one in the bathroom and one I'd have to keep in the closet because I know I'd end up losing one of them almost immediately.

1,000 Wii points can go along way. Sure, it can, unless you're me. My wife and I are still addicted to Rock Band 3 and will still download songs every once in a while. With $1,000 I can probably download every song and a few extras for the next coming weeks. Sounds like fun to me!

There's one thing and just about one thing I know about bedding - it's too expensive. The bedding I'm currently using is probably the lowest thread count you can buy. If the thread count was any lower, it'd still be on a spool. I thought If I washed it a bunch of times I would get more comfortable and, after using the same bedding for the past five years, it's just become almost barely tolerable if I'm working on zero sleep and don't have an ounce of caffeine in my system for 2 straight weeks. I hear things about 400 thread count, 500 thread count, Egyptian cotton, silk sheets. I don't know about any of those things other than I've seen them at the store and it's way out of my price range. With $1,000 I'd give it a shot.

Whenever we can, we go to Randall Park and feed the ducks. The ducks don't care what we feed them. Bread with mold on it, stale chips, whatever, the duck doesn't care so long as it eats. I want to treat the ducks to something really nice. Buy some fresh Sara Lee bread for them. Maybe even go to a local bakery and get something super high class. I would need to save a bit of that $1,000 for a top hat and a monocle so I can look really fancy as I'm feeding the ducks my Milk & Honey bread while everyone else is feeding them bits of their expired hot dog buns. That's the other thing, no tearing the bread. Each duck gets their own slice.