A disturbing trend has started to become an even more disturbing trend. And for once, we’re not talking about the Kardashians, so you can put away the weapons.

Ever since the Miami “face eater,” a chain of very similar crimes have been reported through North America. It got so bad that the Centers for Disease Control had to issue a public statement assuring everyone that the undead are not returning to feast on the flesh of the living. Besides, if there were zombies, wouldn’t food companies try to tap into this new heavy consumer market? Here’s some products we’re sure the zombies would love to keep in their cabinets:

1. Ruffles Sour Cream and Bunion Potato Chips

2. Wrigley’s Juicy Foot

3. Nabisco Cheese Lips

4. Lipton Cup-o-Sue

5. Cinnamon Toes Crunch

6. I Can’t Believe That It’s Soylent Green and It’s Made Out of People!

7. Face Taster’s Choice

8. Kibbles and Bits and Bits and Bits and Bits of Carl

9. Nabisco Shredded Teat

10. Donuts Made Out of Duncan

11. Hebrew National All Frank Beef

12. The Taco Bell Gordon Supreme

13. Apple Cracks

14. Milk-Bone Marrow Dog Biscuits

15. Post Raisin Brad Cereal

16. Wristcut Crackers

17. Kikkoman’s Roy Sauce

18. Gerber Brand Baby Food

19. Stouffer’s Frenchman Pizza

20. Bob’s Red Mill Brain Muffin Mix

21. Hellman’s Manonaise

22. Spotted Dick

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