If The Characters from White Lotus Came to Yakima Valley...

The White Lotus Season 2 finale is upon us this weekend and we cannot wait to see who ends up dead at the end of the episode 7.

The White Lotus Season 2 on HBOMax
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We don’t really know jack about who is going to end up dead in the final episode. What we do know is that it isn’t DAPHNE, VALENTINA, and ROCCO. That only leaves Harper, Cameron, Ethan, Lucia, Mia, Albie, Dom, Portia, Tanya, Greg, Quintin, Jack, and Bert.

I have become obsessed with the television show, The White Lotus. I loved it in Season 1 when we were all stunned by the shenanigans from hotel guests staying at the boutique White Lotus resort in Hawaii. We have been further stunned by the mishaps and dubious misadventures from resort guests staying at The White Lotus in Italy. 


Los Angeles Season 2 Premiere Of HBO Original Series "The White Lotus" - Arrivals
Getty Images

VALENTINA: I think she killed Isabella and didn’t know that other people had been out murdering folks, too.

TANYA and PORTIA: I think she kills Quintin and Greg, and Jack by mistake. How? I have NO idea but Tanya seems invincible from death in this show.

ETHAN: I think he kills Cameron on purpose (see below).

DAPHNE: I think she killed Harper. I think that Harper and Cameron are going to do “the do”; then Ethan will find out and tell Daphne about it. So I think Ethan will lure Cameron out to the sea under false pretenses for a good old-fashioned drowning and then Daphne will push Harper off the ledge!


Los Angeles Season 2 Premiere Of HBO Original Series "The White Lotus" - Arrivals
Getty Images

If the characters from The White Lotus came to the Yakima Valley, we think they would have to go here:

1 . Zesta Cucina because of the Italian Food


2 . The YWCA Aquatic Center because of the hot tub and water slide.


3 . The John Gasperetti’s Cabaret because they want to hear a piano player.


4 . Hotel Maison because it is a boutique hotel.


5 . Freehand Cellars because it is a decadent winery.


6 . Treveri Cellars because they have champagne/sparkling wine.


7 . Miner’s Burgers because it is considered a Yakima Valley tourist trap (minus the T-Shirt).


8 . Yakima Symphony Orchestra because it’s the closest thing we have musically to Madame Butterfly’s opera.


9 . Tubing in the Yakima River Canyon or white water rafting down the Tieton River (and they would probably use Osprey Rafting Company) because we have a lot of summer fun in the water here in the Yakima Valley.


10 . A “palazzo” owned by somebody rich in West Valley, Selah, Sunnyside, East Valley, Terrace Heights, and hidden coves in Wapato, because that’s where most of the biggest homes are located in Yakima Valley.


The White Lotus Season 2 finale is on your local HBOMax streaming service, Sunday, December 11, 2022, at 6 p.m. Pacific Standard Time.

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