In 1997, the cartoon South Park aired an episode called ‘Starvin’ Marvin’, and the b-plot of the episode revolved around turkeys invading the quaint little town, escalating to the point of a Braveheart parody epic battle. Could Spokane, Washington, recreate this scene?

The question was raised on Reddit about how dangerous the turkey population is in the area:

“So, someone told me there are murderous, angry hoards of turkeys that attack people in South Spokane and injure many. Should I be worried? Should I live in fear for my family?”
- ExoGeniVI

In 2016, there were an estimated 250 wild turkeys that called the Spokane area home; 7 years later, you can only imagine how the number has grown, so much so that people are now living in fear! But should they?

Scouring news reports, there have NOT been any (newsworthy) reports of turkey attacks (that I could find). That being said, it is a wild animal. Be smart and avoid getting close to them. For the most part, if you leave them alone, they’ll leave you alone.

They have been known to cause property damage by pecking at cars and houses, looking for food, or if they feel threatened.

“They stand right in the middle of the road and the highway, and if you stop and honk, they run at your vehicle and start pecking your car.”
- SaucyShyster

The Washington Department of Fish & Wildlife has quite a list of tips to deal with the rowdy gang of birds. Since they adapt to their environment so easily, finding various ways to keep your property safe may be critical.

Motion sensor lights and sprinklers, scarecrows, explosives (safely used), fences and nets, laser pointers, ATVs, dogs, and even the use of Falcons have been becoming more frequent in dealing with wild turkeys.

Avoid bird feeders or easy access to food (including gardens and orchards). This can lead to more birds coming to your property and has even been found to spread Salmonella.

So, should you live your life in fear of turkeys? YES! Absolutely! They’ll peck out your eyes and celebrate reverse Thanksgiving! One Reddit user says it best:

“Those a*****es smell fear. That’s how they find me!”
– Hooraaayforyou

In all seriousness, don’t bug them, and you should be fine. If you find yourself being threatened by them, make yourself loud and big.

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