Your Prayers Are Answered: Alien Abduction Insurance Is Here
Believe it or not, Washington state is #1 in the country for UFO sightings, and according to the data, you have a 0.000782 percent chance of running into alien while you're out here living life. Those chances exponentially increase if you head over to the Storm Area 51 holiday party coming up in September. Over 1.9 million people on the Facebook invite said they're going, and at least 1.47 million people claim to be interested in attending. I've already RSVPeed.
Just in time for this holiday celebration, the state of Florida reminds us that they have just what every human being needs: Alien Abduction Insurance*!
There's a guy named Mike St. Lawrence who owns St. Lawrence Agency in Alamonte Springs, and he says he can hook you up with $10,000,000 worth of comprehensive insurance for those UFO and/or alien abduction moments in your life.There are a few other alien abduction insurance companies to choose from in case you don't feel comfortable with Mike.
If you are worried about the impact that a NON-HUMAN alien OR UFO abduction might have on your life, that's when alien abduction insurance can step in to save the day!
Are you perhaps feeling a bit skeptical that alien abduction insurance is right for you? Say you find yourself abducted by some aliens. You end up missing some days at work, need psychiatric care and somehow wind up with a double identity. Now all of a sudden, your life's a mess, and you can't pay your bills . Or can you?
You will have peace of mind if you get some alien abduction insurance! Now you can pay your bills AND GET probed in all the wrong places! Take preemptive measures now. Here's the fine print of your ten million dollar alien abduction insurance claim: you must get the alien(s) to sign the claim form. That shouldn't be a problem, right?
*Miss me with that mess!