This weekend I stumbled across a free challenge based on owning your anxiety. We all deal with it but I suppose the big question is are we dealing with it in a healthy way?

I would probably say, maybe since I am no expert. But over the years I have seen major changes in outcomes based off of the positive or negative talk around it.

Last night, I was really looking forward to making my husband spaghetti before he got off work. It was going to be a crockpot version, he had the car so I splurged on a grocery delivery service that took way longer than anticipated. I could feel the anxiety creep in, and I've noticed one of my go to's in a situation like this is to start projecting the outcomes, most of which will never happen, all of which end with me in a bad mood.

Timing wise, the crockpot spaghetti was out but not a bust so I tried all the cooking tips I've acquired so far to make this meal fancy. Meat cooked, then mushrooms in those juices and then I got the sauce simmering while adding the meat and mushrooms back in. Once the pasta was complete I added a bit of the pasta water and the sauce in the pan because I've been told it will stick to the noodles so much better and it worked like a dream, smelled delicious and the only issue, I thought, was leaving the bread under the broiler too long so I had to throw out the top.

While I was adding ingredients I felt like it was missing a little kick so I started with some red pepper flakes and then moved to one or two pops of tapatio. Yes, tapatio.

I LOVE spice, my husband does not.

When making a meal, we are both sharing this is turning into an issue I need to be mindful of.

His lips started burning so he wanted to know why. I mentioned the hidden additions and then it was on. He is the type of hangry where you waited for a meal and now it tastes off to you but there isn't really much else to eat and I'm the type of frustrated because now I know some of this food will be wasted. I hate that but I'm not eating all these left overs by myself and I think it tastes bomb. Why can't you just be like me? ;)

I noticed a bunch of negative thoughts running through my head. We have had this conversation about spice multiple times. I can't blame the dude for liking things a certain way or vise versa for myself.

Marriage is all about compromise and also dealing with our internal anxieties, not projecting them on our partner because we don't know how to handle them. So that's where this seven day challenge comes in.

After we worked it out and while he cleaned the kitchen, I joined the facebook group attached to this challenge and watched The Help. The words that Aibileen Clark repeats over and over to Mae Mobley are a mantra that I quietly say to myself and others on occasion.

There is nothing wrong with arguments and speaking your mind but there is something wrong with the negative words used to put someone else or ourselves down.

The World already has enough haters in it and honestly all I have to say to that is sage ya later :)

It's a baby step kind of deal and I will share each tip this week as I work to flip the negative verbiage rolling in my brain to positive affirmations.

Whose with me?

 

 

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