Lonely in WA: Battling Tough Times in Cuffing Season Chaos

Why is it so hard to find love in Washington state?💔😔

Forget Sleepless in Seattle, I’m Lonely in Washington. Or "Reesha Jones Diary", move over Bridget. (Where’s my Ugly Christmas Sweater Colin Firth at?) Washington state is a couples La La Land-- except if you are not currently in a couple or have been struggling to find love for some time, innit?

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WHY IT'S A STRUGGLE TO BE LONELY DURING CUFFING SEASON

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The weather is getting cold. I want someone to ~~make out with me while movies are playing in the background~~ hang out with me and binge watch TV. Is that TMI? Oh well, it’s Cuffing Season and many lonely locals are like me, flying solo on Date Night Weekends wishing they weren’t. The sad part is knowing I’m the “ugly one” that guys are talking about when they say there’s nobody to date in this town. Hey, it's cool, I get it. I even own it now, but the truth still hurts! 😂

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It gets tough during Cuffing Season when you get invited to events with friends and office parties and the invitation says, “Bring Your Spouse or Plus One.” Excuse me while I find the puke emoji.

The other day, a friend suggested I watch the Golden Bachelorette. I told her, No thank you, that’s preposterous. I don’t want to watch OTHER PEOPLE going on dates. I want to watch MYSELF going on hot dates-preferably with someone I think is hot (or hot and rich?)

At least it’s comforting to know that I am not the only lonely local in Washington state seeking a Cuff Boo. I miss the days of gentlemen courting and wooing ladies, and there being plenty of singles in my age range to choose from.

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Seattle and Washington state are supposed to be the #1 place for singles to meet and fall in love, but I call B.S. on that! If you are over 45, the dating pickings are so slim, you’re better off getting yourself a ROSE for Christmas, if you know what I mean.

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WHAT IS CUFFING SEASON?

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Cuffing Season is when you have selected from the "Draft" of the dating pool all summer long and narrowed it down to the one you want who wants you back. That's your Cuff Boo for however long you are lucky to stay together. (Hopefully forever?)

Need I remind you there is too much 💩 in today's dating pool. People these days are either too weird, freshly divorced, separated but NOT divorced, or they're just not emotionally and physically available to have a healthy and loving relationship.

Last year, I met a charming and handsome fellow who actually liked me back (YAY!) but he lives in CANADA (F*%#!). Do you know how hard it was for me to finally find someone who WANTED to date me, only to find out he lives hundreds of miles and a whole country border away…the loneliness is just too much for me to bear sometimes. 😂

MOST POPULAR DATING APPS IN WASHINGTON

Some of my friends told me to go on a dating app to find my Cuffing Season guy. I took their advice and after telling them about the horrifying dating experiences I've been getting, my friends now tell me to NEVER GO BACK on any dating apps.

These are most popular dating apps in Washington state:

Bumble-ling Idiots
Tinder-ly-Plus-A-Let-Down
Grindr-AKA-Hook-Up-City-for-LGBTQ-Folks
What-s-A-Hinge
OKStupid
Plenty of Rotten Fish
E-Harmony-for-Thee-But-Not-For-Me
Single Parent Meet-A-Stranger-Danger
Not A Match Dot Com

I haven’t tried Coffee Meets Bagel, which I hear is very popular in big cities like Seattle, Tacoma, and Spokane, but coffee dates (or bagel dates) are just not my style. I refuse to go to Craigslist’s “Missed Connections” because of too many horror stories. I also refuse to go back to Facebook Dating or Black Planet Meet. It’s worse than Tinder!

I won’t give commentary about The League, Jdate, or Raya dating apps because I cannot afford their membership fees.

I wish there was a Thousandaire Matchmaker in Washington! 😂

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THE PROS OF NOT HAVING ANYONE DURING CUFFING SEASON

It's hard out here in these lonely dating streets of Washington state. But it sure beats the chaos and turmoil of being in a turbulent, boring, or meaningless relationship. We should all be grateful for that!

I'll keep myself busy focusing on other things this Cuffing Season, like cooking new things, getting wrapped up in film and literature, road trips, and online paint nights! At least this way, I won't have to share my French fries with ANYONE. 😁🍟