CHEESE ZOMBIE SEASON IS HERE!

It’s Cheese Zombies Season is getting underway in the Yakima Valley. (If you don’t know what a cheese zombie is, read about their origin here.) For me, the ushering in of Autumn means foods that go great with cold weather. While most people are waiting with baited breath for pumpkin spice during the Fall, I’m over here waiting for Cheese Zombies being sold at coffee shops, breweries, and mom & pop restaurants everywhere in the Yakima Valley.

There are certainly local places where you can get a cheese zombie every day, but seeing “Cheese Zombies Have Arrived” signs on restaurant reader boards once a year is something special. It’s like having our very own private Yakima Valley holiday season, at least it is in my mind.

🎵I'M A [CHEESE ZOMBIE SNOB] GIRL, LIVIN' IN A [CHEESE ZOMBIE] WORLD🎵

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I will openly admit to being a Cheese Zombie Snob, having tasted the best I’ve ever had from Linda Ramos, known affectionately as Shorty’s Sweets, Treats, and Cakes. Since her restaurant is no longer around, other local restaurateurs have tried, in some cases, miserably, to fill her shoes. I won’t mention their names here. What I will mention are the ones that have done a pretty decent job at making yummy cheese zombies so far.

On another note, Cheese Zombie Snob is going to be the name of my next rock band!

Cheese Zombies 101:

Cheese

It needs to be Velveeta. Some places try to get all fancy and use pepper jack or some BS block of cheese they bought at the store, but Velveeta has the best taste and most even melting spread in a Cheese Zombie.

Bread

Here's where it gets really tricky: You can't use any ol' hunk of bread for a Cheese Zombie. I wish that everyone trying to make them would get this through their thick skulls. The taste of the bread will make or break an entire Cheese Zombie. I don't know what Shorty's secret ingredient was in the bread she baked, but dayummmm, her bread was good!

For the Love of Everything, Please Season Your Friggin' Tomato Soup!

There is nothing worse than getting a good Cheese Zombie and it gets served to you with BLAND tomato soup! This is the other very important paring with a Cheese Zombie during Cheese Zombie Season. Not everybody's tomato soup out here tastes good. No, I won't be a KAREN and tell them to their faces, but I give facial cues. Sorry to Ms. Davis, my 7th English teacher, who would be cringing if she saw me saying 'you ain't got no' in a sentence, but...

if I am not smizing* after one taste, then you ain't no good tomato soup!

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Places We’re Not Sure If They’re Still Offering Cheese Zombies

• Java Heaven in Yakima
• Perry Tech Cafeteria

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